Patience dear....Patience.

I had foot surgery on October 8th, 2014.  This is my 9th foot surgery.  My foot doctor told me long ago that I needed to find another profession.  Of course I ignored his request.

 Jazzercise is my stress relief.
 Jazzercise is way more fun than any other cardio.
 Jazzercise makes me right.
 Jazzercise brings me happiness.
 Jazzercise keeps my mind clear of cobwebs as well as my body in shape.
 Jazzercise is my life.
 Jazzercise makes me a better version of myself!

I also teach Pilates and Yoga but I don't get that endorphin rush from them like I do Jazz.  I do get other benefits from them that I LOVE but I also NEED Jazzercise.

I was released from the foot doctor and able to get off crutches and out of my boot on November 20th.  Although he released me, I was not to teach Jazzercise for 4-6 more weeks.  I about fell off the table when I heard that!  I was released to teach Pilates and Yoga.

I started teaching Pilates and Yoga the week of the 24th, which helped me tremendously.  I also started lifting weights again that week.  This was all great and good but I knew something was missing.  I decided to try to take a Jazzercise class on Nov 28th.  I told myself I would behave and only do what I could.  Behaving was easy because I am still having pain in my foot.  What wasn't easy was that I could barely move through the routines.  I made it halfway through the class before leaving in tears.  I went to my yoga room and shut the door and cried.   I had walked 3 miles the day before in the Turkey Trot with Berta, but that didn't matter.  I wasn't able to Jazzercise and for that, I cried.

I cried because I am sick of my foot hurting.
I cried because I want to be up on that stage again doing what I do best.
I cried because part of me is scared and wondering will I ever be able to move like that again?!
I cried because I have gained weight and long to move my body again.
I cried because I am having problems with being patient.

I was feeling sorry for myself.

 I had a Yoga class to teach in half an hour so I knew I had to pull myself together.  My friend
 Berta came in and talked me down off the ledge and I felt a little better.  I went to the bathroom, splashed some water on my face and put my happy face on to teach an awesome Yoga class.

By now, I had been back to teaching Yoga for a week and struggled a lot with some of the poses because not only has my foot been in a boot but my calf muscle has atrophied.   It was barely half the size of my other calf.

During this Yoga class, I was able to stand in the Tree pose and balance on my left side (my healing foot).  It felt so good to be able to do that!!  The demons had left my mind and all I had was happiness and a sense of accomplishment.

I was able to hold the Tree pose.

Take that negative Nelly.

It's crazy how horrible our thoughts can be to ourselves when we are unable to do what we once did without thought.  Today I celebrate this one victory.  Yay me!

Patience my dear....patience.

Namaste,
j

To be vegan or not

Back in the beginning of the year, I decided to try going vegan for 100 days.  I fell off the blogging wagon and it seems days turned into months and here I am again.  I really enjoy blogging regularly but it's like anything, once you get out of the habit (just like exercise), it becomes so hard to start again.  Note to self, don't stop blogging!!!
I made the vegan challenge for about 70 days before I decided to not continue.  I do feel great being vegan but I find myself feeling deprived of small things that I enjoy.  I enjoy a dollop of sour cream on my potato, a little half and half in my coffee and a weekend trip to Bubbles ice cream!!!

Going out to eat here in La Porte is a challenge while vegan because this town is just not set up for that.  I also found there is a lot of sneaky ingredients in foods that you wouldn't suspect had any animal products in them.  

Once while visiting my daughter in Indy, we went to a Pizza Hut.  I decided to get a pizza with no cheese.  I asked the waitress if there was any animal products in the crust.  She confirmed with me (after checking with the kitchen) that it was vegan.  I ordered a veggie pizza with marinara sauce, no cheese.  I had a sneaky suspicion and when I got near a computer, I looked it up.  There was not only animal product in the crust but the marinara sauce had beef in it!!!!!!!  WHAT WHAT??!!!  Ugh!!

While in Indy, we went to a Denny's as well.  The waitress we had went above and beyond to meet my vegan needs.  She was a vegetarian and even gave me some homemade hummus that she brought for lunch!!!  She was a fun waitress!!

Another visit to Olive Garden with my husband, and my waitress didn't even know what vegan meant.  So, before heading out to eat, make sure YOU know what you are going to eat because most of the time, they won't!

One good thing out of this is I have found that I eat less cheese than ever before!  I used to consume cheese daily, easily.  Now I am only having it once in a while and I have found it just doesn't taste as good as it used to.  That is a shocker for me.  

I recently read an article about The Blonde Vegan.  You can find it Here.  She talks about how her obsession with eating everything healthy and vegan became an eating disorder with her and when she realized her body was craving (read needing) other nutrients she decided to stop being vegan.  The thing that shocks me is that she actually had death threats against her for changing her way of eating.  What?!  Why?!  

  The other thing that bothered me was the  vegan products I found myself substituting for the animal products.  Just one example, the butter has two ingredients.  Cream and salt.  The soy product (butter substitute) has more ingredients (read chemicals).  We all know what natural flavors can be.  Anything!

 I found myself conflicted, go with my heart and do not eat animal products or go with my head and eat the butter!!!!  

Two ingredients.  Cream and Salt.

The truth is, we all need to find what works for us.  What works for us today, may not be what works for us tomorrow.  I think we need to just be the best version that we can be whatever it is that may be.  Be YOU, not a version of someone else.  I'm going to continue to be a vegetarian and stand up for animal rights.  I'm going to try to be more kind, less judegmental .  That's my thing.  What's yours?  

xo
j

Pushy tree huggers........

Don't you hate it when people try to make you do things?  Let's talk about vegetarians and vegans that try to make you just like them.  Do you know anyone like that?  I will apologize for some of my fellow vegetarians or vegans.  I love what PETA stands for- People for Ethical treatment of animals!  They can go overboard though.  As in any group there are extremist.  I belong to a facebook group of vegans and there was a thread on there about fish not being plants.  As you may recall, I did start eating fish a couple years after becoming a vegetarian.  (According to them, I am NOT a vegetarian)  The nasty comments that followed made me feel sad to be a human being.  Seriously people!!!  We all know how mean people can be behind a keyboard.  Well some vegans are die hard and want you to know why you should be just like them and if you are not then you are the worst person EVER!  You probably hate babies and puppies too!  
Let me tell you, I am not judgmental of what you eat.  I am only here to inform you and maybe help you understand why I choose to be a vegetarian/vegan.  You CAN eat meat in front of me and I won't look at you in disgust. (Just not crab legs because I have a hard time watching them being torn apart....so brutal!) Remember, I too used to eat meat.  I loved a good cheeseburger, pork chop or chicken breast. But that was then and my priorities are different now.  That doesn't mean my way is the right way.  It just means, it's the right way for ME.  When I was a teenager, one of my friends, Joe, was a vegetarian for a while and I can remember asking him the same question I get asked ALL the time.  "What do you eat?"  Then about 10 years later,  I had a co-worker that was vegetarian and again, I remember thinking "what does she eat?!"  I just couldn't understand how you couldn't eat meat!  Now remember, I was never a big meat eater, yet I still felt this way>>

There is more to life than meat.  You just have to make different choices.  There are sooo many cook books and recipes out there for vegetarians and vegans.  Maybe I can convince you to make Mondays meatless....or how about lunch or dinner meatless.  You're body will thank you!  Either way, No judgments ever!

Reason #3 why I should be a vegan-
This is something I never thought about and maybe you didn't either.  Dairy cows do not just produce milk all the time.  They must be pregnant or nursing.  Therefore, a dairy cow is artificially inseminated over and over again so that her entire life is one of being pregnant and giving birth.  Once they give birth, the baby cows are separated from their Momma within hours.  Momma cows will bellow for many hours and even days after her calf is taken from her.   After each birth, the Momma cow becomes even more emotionally traumatized due to hormone levels being higher.  

Peace,
j

Coffee, black please.

This is one of my reasons I have not gone vegan before now.  My coffee with cream.  I only use a bit of half and half which is amazing because I used to drink vanilla, hazelnut or almond joy creamers.  Have you looked at the ingredients on those lately?  Oh, I know they taste good.  I used them for YEARS!!!  Something that I think about when it comes to what we put in our mouths is this-- If I do it on a regular consistent basis, over and over, daily, weekly, yearly...what is that doing to my body?! That is why I stopped the flavored creamers.  Seriously, I can't pronounce most of the ingredients in it.  I was addicted too.  I didn't think I would EVER get off that stuff.  I'd been using it in my morning coffee for probably 20 years.  It was my crack.  Then I did a clean eating challenge and had to give it up.  Funny thing is, once I was off it, I didn't want it.  I tried it once and had to dump my coffee out because it was awful.  It left an oily taste on my tongue.  I enjoyed my simple half and half better.  I almost didn't give up my half and half for this challenge.  Then I thought, "if I am going to do it, I may as well do it right".  At first I was like, "this is my challenge, I can make it what it is".  Then I thought, "well I may as well eat cheese then"....you catch my drift.  

So I had my coffee black today.  It didn't taste that bad.  I can do this.


Reason #2 on why I should go vegan-
One glass of milk can have 180,000,000 puss cells and still be deemed acceptable for human consumption. 

ummm, gross. 

Love j

101 Days of compassion....

Yesterday marked day 84, the last day of my 12 week workout plan with Jamie Eason.   I meant to take progress pictures this morning but I still have to do my body fat analysis and measurements so I"ll share all that with you when I get it all done.  

Today, I started a new 12 week program.  It's all about bettering myself and gaining more muscle.  My LOVE still lies with Jazzercise but cross training my body will make me a better instructor!  

Today starts a different new challenge for me.  I am going vegan and totally plant based for 101 days.  I know you are thinking...."why?"  To that, I say "why not?!"   I have to be honest and say, my eating has not been the best over the last year.  I can't seem to get my head in the game.  Suffering from chronic back pain can force you to eat a lot of chocolate, candies, pastries, pastas, chips,  umm, carrots~!  NOT my fault, OBVIOUSLY!!  

I have been a vegetarian for about 10 years. I've been considering going vegan for the last several years.  I've done it for 6 weeks before and I felt great.  The love of cheese and half and half in my coffee is what strays me away.  I had my coffee black this morning, as I will for the next 100 days. 

In case you didn't know, there are several different types of vegetarianism.  Thank you Wikipedia-

 There are a number of types of vegetarianism, which exclude or include various foods.

• Ovo vegetarianism includes eggs but not dairy products.
• Lacto vegetarianism includes dairy products but not eggs.
• Ovo-lacto vegetarianism (or lacto-ovo vegetarianism) includes animal/dairy products such as eggs, milk, and honey.(THIS is what I have practiced although I didn't eat fish at first, I did start eating fish several years after becoming a vegetarian)
• Veganism excludes all animal flesh and products, such as milk, honey, and eggs, as well as items refined or manufactured through any such product, such as bone-char refined white sugar or animal-tested baking soda.(THIS is what I will be practicing for the next 101 days)

I will be putting a daily reason on why I should go vegan on my blog.  These things may be hard to read; however, they are even harder for the animals to endure. 


Reason #1 on why I should go vegan and not eat eggs.  Farmers only want the female chicks for laying eggs and the male chicks do not have good meat.  Therefore, the male chicks are ground up in a grinder WHILE THEY ARE STILL ALIVE.  Or, they are put in a garbage bag to suffocate.  

Peace,
Love j

My 30 days stats

I mentioned before that I am doing a 12 week program weight lifting.  I have always wanted more muscular arms.  I am excited as to how much muscle I have built in only a month.  Here are my stats-

 In 30 days, I have gained 2 pounds (sounds bad right?.... just wait)  I lost 1.3 lbs of fat and gained 3.3 pounds of lean muscle mass.  My body fat % went down 1.3%.  I may not be losing weight the way I want but the picture and stats don't lie- it's all good.

When I say weight lifting do you think- 

or maybe that I will look like 

The truth is it's more like this...<<Jamie Eason (isn't she adorable?!)

That my friends are the arms I want...or close to it.  I want to have muscle definition even when NOT flexing!!   My goal is to be able to do a unassisted pull up in one year.  

My back pain has been so up and down.  I feel good for four days then really bad for three days.....It's getting to the point that I am feeling very depressed and really down on myself.  I enjoy the weight lifting and it makes me feel good in the moment, but Jazzercise gives me that endorphin rush that lasts ALL day!  I miss that SO much.  I feel like I'm losing my "happy gene".  I want so badly to feel "normal" again, whatever that really is.  Chronic back pain has just taken over my life and I don't like it one bit.  I have to tell you though, today is one of the first days that I am starting to think that I may be heading uphill on this fight with pain.  My muscles are not sore but my spine feels sore.  Doc says it is because the muscles no longer need to stabilize the spine.  Good news.  Please keep praying for me to heal so I can return to my "positive" self!  

Peace out,

j

Finally feeling more like myself

I will plan my daily meals the day before!
I will weigh myself on Sunday mornings and post the results.
I will drink 3 Liters of water daily! 
I will start working out again!!  I have more goals for the workout but will get into that later.
I will eat clean and cut the nasty addictive sugar from my diet.
I will use myfitnesspal to record my daily eats.
I will love myself every day.  

Those were my plans to do daily.  It's been three weeks since I originally posted.  It took me about a week to get myself together....having things I shouldn't here and there.  I have been eating clean regularly now and the benefits are finally showing.  Let me tell you, that first week, I'm pretty sure I could have fallen asleep standing up.  Or on the deck.

I think I might have once or twice.  Thankfully not while driving.  Seriously, I felt like crap. 

 Need we be reminded....

I'm not sure why it I can't seem to remember that but apparently crappy processed food makes you lose your memory too.  

Yesterday, I noticed my skin was brighter, my mood was better (just ask Tommy)...I have more energy and I'm not so tired.  Getting out of bed in the morning is easier even though it still feels like 2am cause it's so DARK!!  I lost that bloated feeling....ooooh that bloated feeling. (did you just sing that sentence too?)

So back to my list...

I will plan my daily meals the day before!  YES!

I will weigh myself on Sunday mornings and post the results.  YES  here are my stats.

152.6 10/13/13

150.4  10/20/13

149.9  10/27/13

148.8  11/3/13

3.8 pounds is progress...  

It would be better if I was able to jazzercise but I'm down with my back injury :( I started seeing a chiropractor and had my first adjustment today.   I have a disc in my lower back that is causing my issues.  He is more concerned with my neck though than my low back, even though my back is causing me more pain.  Seems my neck is straight and starting to curve back.  I saw the xray....doesn't look good.  This could explain my lifetime of migraines and headaches so bad that I want to shove something into the back of my head to release the pressure...yeah that bad.  I am excited that we are getting my back and headaches taken care of.  I wouldn't wish this back pain on anyone.    

I will drink 3 Liters of water daily!   YES I've been doing SO much better!

I will start working out again!!  Well....I did start jazzercise again but I had to stop due to my back pain.  Doc says I should be able to go back in two weeks so keeping my fingers crossed.  I have started weight lifting though.  I have started This 12 week program  and am hoping to build more muscle.  My body fat is at 27% right now and I am hoping to bring that down.  I want more muscular arms, legs and more muscle on my back to help prevent these back issues.  I have a couple of my friends doing this with me and am excited to see the results.  I just started week 2.  Last week I was So sore!!!  I want everyone to understand that Jazzercise will always be my true LOVE.  Jazzercise makes me Love working out.  It's a blast!  I think it is good to have different goals and challenges.  I also believe that it's important to cross train to make me a better instructor.  

I will eat clean and cut the nasty addictive sugar from my diet.  YES!

I will use My Fitness Pal to record my daily eats.  I started doing really good with this then stopped.  I will do better.  As this 12 week program continues, I need to keep track of my calories.

I will love myself every day.  I have found in the last week, I am feeling better about my body.  It's not where I want it to be but that's ok.  

I bought myself a Fit Bit.  This will track my steps, calories, active minutes and sleep.  I can also log my food on that site but I think My fitness pal is easier.  I'll have to play around with it.    I found out I am not making my 10,000 steps.  I found out that an entire day of housework only gave me two active minutes.  What?!  I do love that I can SEE that I need to move more.  The fitbit doesn't lie.  I can't make excuses.

I have decided to do a November challenge after requests from several friends.  Thanks girls for making me push us all!!  You can follow me on fb as I show daily tips and modifications.  

I made a recipe tonight that you can find Here. Chocolate Protein Peanut Butter Crisp.  If you want a healthy treat.  This is it friends!!  It's a healthy version of Rice crispy treats.  

I had to force myself not to gorge on it!

Peace and Love,

j